Greater Things Are Yet to Be Done

Where Light is, there can not exist darkness...


Eight years ago Darkness reigned my life.  My inability to cope landed me in psych wards, long-term lock down facilities.  Chaos and confusion were my best friends. In James 3, it talks about that where envy and "self-seeking" exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 

A couple weeks ago when I read that, I felt slapped...HARD.  Not only were chaos and confusion my best friends, EVERY evil thing penetrated and lived in and around me.  It was dark, and now I know why.  When I examined the self-seeking my reaction was shame which led to denial..."well, others hurt me," "I just wanted love because I never got it,"  "don't I deserve love too."  But in that denial the self-seeking RETURNS.  Reality is, my goals were for myself...and as strange as it seems, the Word was proved so correct in my life, as I gave up seeking the love for myself, I received it from my Heavenly Father in ways that still amaze me.

 The healing that was brought was a miracle as it's transformed a person who was unable to function and who ran person after person off, burned so many bridges, attemted death on too many occasions, to the woman I find in the mirror today who I can call beautiful, and often mean it, whose goal is to love EVERYONE fearlessly, to not leave one person behind on the dance floor, and who LIVES even when it means pain and trials. 

My heart has been singing the past three days as I received the letter stating the world no longer classifies me as disabled.  There is a freedom...no longer do the dance steps include steps labeled with confusion, voices, instability, mental illness.  There is a rope that settled around my soul the day I took on the world's labels.  Yes, I got some help and for that I'm grateful.  But I took those labels as an identitiy.  An identity is WHO we are at the core.  It is impossible to change who we are at the core.  So as I took on that world's label as who I was, there was no understanding of any other possibilties.  It was dark, and it would always be dark because that is who I was.  But the Truth says...Greater Things are Yet to Be Done!  Truth says "How dare anyone say you are less than who I made you to be."  But Truth was not part of the equation as I took on a label...only desperation and relief was my goal.  But I compromised my identity.  As I watched the rope of this world's understanding of my identity fall as I read the letter, my hands were freed to embrace an identity that is unique and so much more!  This identity is found as I explore the love of the King of Kings. 

And this morning, I heard the words "Greater things are yet to be done." Once again, I am in doubt.  Not in that it can be done, but this time, amazed...you mean there's even more?  The answer?  YES!!!

The Yearning for Harmony

       Riding in the big field, on a mare that just 4 months ago was nearly uncontrollable, I drop the reins.  Guiding my mount into figure eights and stops and various turns, simply with seat and legs, I decide for something new.  We proceed to work into a trot and then a canter, without ANY use of the reins.  As we fly through various turns, something rings so RIGHT in my spirit. 

       Harmony and Unity has always been something that my innermost person yearns for and fights for since I was very little.  And as I rode in amazing harmony with this very powerful creature, I realized that this yearning for a perfect harmony and unity, is not some character flaw or sensitivity of mine, but a carefully placed spot in my heart that mirrors my Creator's.  God's whole character strives for unity, from the "trinity" to His guidance for His children. 
        And a new revelation and motivation has entered my heart.  Truth and correction that can come in a perfect love that does not break this unity.  So often when God corrects me, I break away seeing it in a perspective of earthly correction that brings shame.  I run from truth because in my mind, truth means abandonment and rejection.  But just as I have worked to teach the mare I ride that my correction does not mean pain and fear, God is showing me that harmony and unity CAN continue, uninterrupted, even through His correction.
         But knowing ABOUT this, and experiencing it is two things.  The mare had to EXPERIENCE my corrections before truly being transformed.  God is working to give me EXPERIENCE in His perfect love and refinement.  It isn't comfortable and I've been running from it.  But through my ride God spoke to that part of my spirit that longs for the perfect harmony and showed that as my Daddy in heaven, His corrections only exist to bring me closer to Him and into that Harmony.